June marks Pride Month, a time to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community and show our support for those who have struggled for basic human rights.
What started as a protest to be seen and heard, continues as a fight for the right to be treated as equal.
The world is a lot different now compared to the one our parents grew up in and there are a lot more terms to wrap our heads around, like “non-binary”.
In simple terms, being non-binary means you don’t identify as any gender, and your gender identity doesn’t exactly line up with male or female.
If your child finds themselves somewhere in the middle, not associating with either of the gender norms, just remember that it’s perfectly okay. Once they’re happy and healthy, that’s the main thing.
For parents of non-binary children, we’ve compiled some advice from one mum who experienced this with her child.
Mistakes will happen
Understand that making mistakes is completely natural, and you’re bound to slip up when it comes to pronouns or names. It’s likely that your child is now going by they/them pronouns, and that takes time to get used to.
Speak openly and honestly with your child, allow them to understand that the switch in your mind doesn’t happen overnight, and that you are going to make mistakes.
Our minds are used to calling them she/her or he/him, it’s about training our minds to naturally say the gender neutral version they identify with.
Once you’re trying and actively making an effort, it’s all you can do. Correcting yourself and apologising when making the mistake is more than enough.
Respect their identity
Supporting your child’s decision is one thing, but respecting it is more important. When people ask the gender of your child, explain that they now identify as non-binary. Explain their pronouns and understand why they’re so important to your child.
By doing this, you’re being honest to them, loyal to your child and educate others who may not be as caught up yet. Having open conversations with others can help the world become a more accepting place for your child.
This is about them, not you
This one is important to note. While you make be feeling as if you lost a son or a daughter, the transition to non-binary was a lot harder for them. Coming to terms with their gender was not an easy process, and telling you as a parent was likely something they had been battling for longer than you know.
While it is upsetting to see what you’ve known seemingly disappear, they’re still the same child. They still have the same interests, the same hobbies. They laugh at the same things, and they love you the exact same. Pronouns won’t change who they are as a person.
Understand that it takes time
All this being said, it does take time to get used to. Again, having those open and honest conversations with your child can give both parties a more thorough understanding of the situation. Give yourself time to come to terms with everything, allow yourself to process, ask questions even if you don’t like the answer.
