Don’t be alarmed, now, but my Alan and I are not married.
GASP!!
I know, how dare we, parents to two small kids and all.
But the fact is, we simply never got around to it (i.e. he simply never got around to asking – COUGH!) until after Baby Number 2 came along.
So we will get married, at the end of this year.
As a consequence of our ‘co-habiting’ status when it came to naming the children, we had to make a decision – would they get my surname, or Alan’s?
We decided on Alan’s at the time, through a combination of wanting to remain traditional and the notion that we might get married some day and so we’d ALL be Fynes’s.
Our eldest, Jacob, has from time to time asked why I’m Sharyn Hayden and not Sharyn Fynes and our explanation has been that I will become Sharyn Fynes when we get married.
(He then proceeds to run around the house chirping, ‘Mammy Fynes! Mammy Fynes! which is hilarious because there is only one Mammy Fynes and that is Alan’s mum!)
But having read this interesting article about assigning kid’s surnames in a way that lends to equality in the household, I’m wondering if we did the right thing.
As much as I love the strong Fynes family name, how did we so easily skip over any discussion about paying tribute to my own family when naming our kids?
Yes, I have three brothers and so in that sense, the Hayden family name lives on through their kids – but not through mine as the only female offspring.
Is that weird?
I know that how my kids turn out in this world will be less to do with their names and more to do with their character and upbringing but still, it makes me a little bit sad that I gave the Hayden up so easily.
Perhaps I’ll hang onto it after this wedding instead ;o)
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