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Baby names

03rd May 2024

‘My sister-in-law gave her baby the same name as my stillborn daughter’


“They are being incredibly cruel”

A woman has expressed her heartache after her sister-in-law gave her baby girl the same name as the woman’s stillborn daughter.

She said she was extremely upset when her brother and sister-in-law confirmed they gave their newborn the same name as the baby she lost at 38 weeks.

“In January I (25F) and my husband (36M) lost our daughter when I was 38 weeks along. It was a totally healthy pregnancy until I went into labor and she didn’t make it. Her name was going to be Isabella Rose,” she told Reddit.

She explained that she doesn’t believe in claiming names, but couldn’t believe their decision.

“My SIL (28F) told me how much she loved the name Isabella when we first announced it and joked around that she was sad she and my brother couldn’t use it for their future children. We found out she was pregnant right around the time I lost my Isabella. It was hard at first BUT I’m so happy for my SIL and brother (32M)”

She said she’s thrilled to welcome her niece into the family and cannot wait to spoil her but her moniker has completely broken her heart.

“My sister-in-law made the official announcement she’s having a girl (which I already knew) and also that her name is going to be Isabella Rose (which I did NOT know.)”

The brother and sister-in-law claim they’re honouring her baby’s memory by giving their daughter the same, which the mum thinks is quite sweet.

However, the way she found out wasn’t.

“I found out over Facebook. Just like everyone else. I feel like this is something they should’ve consulted me with first. The truth is even though I think it’s sweet I also wish they wouldn’t. A middle name maybe? Or something like that.”

“Maybe this is petty and childish of me because like I said I’ve never been one to “claim” a name but this name is now so personal to me. My husband and I talk to our Isabella Rose every day. I’m in therapy but I’m not over losing her yet,” she admitted.

The woman believes they should have asked her about it first.

“Finding out over social media really hurts especially since the name is supposed to be honouring MY child. But I also know I’m still pretty deep in the grieving process so I don’t know if I’m being irrational or not. AITA? Should I just thank them for honoring my kid and move on?”

Reddit users all agreed that what her brother and sister-in-law did was extremely insensitive and wrong.

“This is cruel and thoughtless behavior and I don’t believe for a second they meant to honor your daughter. If they had they would have asked if it would feel like an honor to YOU, privately, before deciding, instead of just announcing it on Facebook to make it harder for you to object.”

One added, “They are being incredibly cruel and are using the excuse of “honoring” your daughter to be selfish.

“If Isabella Rose was honestly the only name in the whole world they wanted (unlikely but not impossible I suppose) then the very least they could have done is sit down with you privately to discuss it.”

What do you think? Are the sister-in-law and brother in the wrong?