Let’s face it – when you have just gone through nine (more like 10) months of pregnancy, pushed a baby out of your vagina and are now trying to deal with postpartum life – including leaking from everywhere, those hormonal sweats and, oh yeah, trying to keep an infant alive – sex tends to fall down a couple of notches on your list of priorities.
Which, and I cannot state this enough, is completely flipping normal.
It is then, concerning, I think, when you realise that a lot of brand new mum end up having sex with their partner before they actually wanted to.
According to a 2019 study, nearly one-third of millennial mums (31 percent) say they had sex with their partner before they felt ready to do so.
Let it be said that no specific waiting period is right for everyone, but many doctors and midwives recommend waiting at least four to six weeks after birth, or until the mother feels comfortable resuming sexual activity. The Mayo Clinic says that when it comes to postpartum sex, you should “set your own timeline”. Some mums want to have sex at six weeks postpartum, but many don’t just yet.
According to the survey, 53 percent of mums start feeling interested in sex again by the six-week mark, and 11 percent of mums find they’re interested in getting intimate before they are six weeks postpartum.
There was an age factor as well, it would seem. The study found that mothers under 30 were more likely to report being ready for sex by six weeks—with 67 percent reporting they were—while 54 percent of moms between 30 and 34 felt ready by six weeks, and 44 percent of moms over 35 did.
However, for almost 40 percent of mums, it takes a lot longer than six weeks—between six months and a year—to want to have sex again.
And mums – there is nothing wrong with that.
Here is what Diana Spalding, midwife and Motherly’s Digital Education Editor, had to say about Mother.ly’s survey:
“Having sex after birth before she is ready is troublesome. First, if she has sustained any pelvic floor dysfunction or vaginal, anal, or vulvar injuries from pregnancy and birth, she needs proper medical attention before engaging in sex, which could further injure her,” Spalding explains, adding that a lack of education around and attention to birth injuries is an unacceptable shortcoming of our healthcare system.
