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Parenting

10th Jan 2024

Digital Dilemma: Striking a balance as kids grow up in a screen-filled world

Sophie Collins

Digital dilemma

A mum whose 10-month-old is already addicted to playing with phones has asked other parents for advice on how to navigate the digital landscape as her child grows.

Every child will arrive at an age where they want and need a phone to contact their parents – most importantly – and their friends. 

But with so much harmful material available online and on the app store, how do we make sure our teens don’t stumble upon something they shouldn’t?

One Reddit poster explained their situation, and said: “My baby is 10 months and already wanting to play with our phones. I also see friends and family who have elementary aged kids and some of them are obsessed with screens and others not so much.”

She went on to explain that: “My friend did no screen time at all for her daughter for the first several years and now her daughter is obsessed with screens and constantly asking anybody she sees with a phone or tablet if she can use it.

“On the other hand I have little cousins who are allowed what seems like unlimited screen time and have their own tablets and they’re also always on them.

“Of course these are two extremes, but I’m wondering where exactly the balance is in between.”

Asking for advice, the mum then said: “My question is for parents of kids who are older – junior high/high school – now that you’ve reach a point where you likely aren’t monitoring them so much and they make their own decisions to not be on screens all the time. 

“What was your approach when they were younger to get to where they are now?”

Digital dilemma

Many parents shared some of their best advice having lived through the same dilemma. One mum responded and said: “As your kid grows older, consider a routine around screens. Like, my kid is in full day school now, so we have the rule that there’s no screens before or during dinner. After dinner, screens are ok. Then he knows what to expect and isn’t obsessed with screens because he doesn’t know when he’ll get to have it again.

“I recommend waiting a while to introduce a tablet into everyday life. I could see letting your two year old use it on a plane or certain long travel. But as part of every day use, waiting until four or so might be better. Also, with my child, for short trips (less than hour) we usually do no screens and allow him to have that experience of daydreaming and talking in the car like we all had.”

Another advised: “We did zero screen time until two years old for each of our kids. After that it was very limited, always on the TV, never a hand held device. We don’t own any video games.

“When the family is home, adults don’t use phones. We use a phone basket. We have family dinner, family games, read books. We’re lucky we live literally next to the public library. We play outside a lot! We go on walks, biking, hiking, picnicking, swimming… etc.

“The biggest thing is that kids aren’t allowed to own personal devices.. we have a family flip phone that can borrow if needed. We have all the latest tech at home. I’m an engineer. Kids can use all of it, but it’s in communal areas of the house and it has child restrictions.”

A third parent said she did the opposite for her child, and it had a great outcome for her: “I let her use her phone and didn’t make a big deal out of it unless her grades dropped or she wasn’t enjoying her childhood. 

“Now she’s a teen and doesn’t care about screens because they were never placed In lock boxes or used as incentive for doing her homework.”

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