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"It feels like it's not quite looking out for your kids not to tell them, 'You could stumble upon porn; you mightn't be looking for it, and it might come to you'.
Children nowadays are having a different experience of the internet, Stella explains, and while parents may have learned in the 90s to not follow images that pop up on-screen, kids today will 'learn that on the ground at about 9, 10, 11.'
The dangers of stumbling across these sites online, the author says, are that a young child may perceive the acts portrayed as something negative, scary, or harmful if they hadn't intended to see them or if they are too young to understand what is happening.
"The key point would be when you're older, sex will be lovely. It'll be a lovely, intimate, gorgeous act. However certain images, if you see them before you're ready for them, it'll give you the ick.
"It's equivalent of an image when you see roadkill or a car crash, it sticks in your head so be careful about following a link that really isn't for your eyes."
When it comes to bringing it up, Stella recommends taking a gentle approach that packs a punch and educates them but doesn't involve a huge sit-down discussion.
"For certain age groups, you might talk about the fact that the porn industry has really centred in on violence and sex—that's not where the fun in sex lies. It might be just be a remark you say and you let it land... and you might leave it at that.
"It doesn't have to be an extensive, 'sit down and I'm going to talk to you about this.' It can be just the odd well-timed sentence that packs a punch, where you say violence, choking, that's not where fun sex is - it's certainly not where teenage sex lies," she recommends, "Then you leave it at that."
Stella also suggests talking about the positives of sex—intimacy, being vulnerable, feelings, and falling in love—to highlight the reality and contrasts between any 'degrading porn' they may have come across online.
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