My friend had been acting weird for a few weeks. We hadn't had any drunken dance parties in my kitchen in a month, she kept cancelling plans and then she ordered a steak well done. She was pregnant. Clearly.
Obviously, I didn't comment on it as it's not the done thing. Then last week she blurted it out and immediately after looked completely stricken. "I know I'm not supposed to say anything," she wailed, "but I just feel so crazy, and I don't know what's normal, and I've no one with a uterus to talk to about it."
As a loud and proud uterus-owner and propagator of the species I was delighted she chose to tell me. I often think that the first trimester of pregnancy is hands down the hardest most of all because you are virtually all alone in it. In later pregnancy, you're like a minor celebrity and everyone wants to listen to you complain about your cankles and your heartburn but when you are in the throes of the 3-month hangover that is the first trimester you're supposed to keep it to yourself.
Of course we all dread that something bad is going to happen (see point 7) but at the same time, as I tried to reassure my friend, if it did she would possibly want to talk to her close friends about it, no?
Listening to my friend reminded me of so many things I'd completely forgotten about the first-time trimester.
8 Weird Things No One Says About Early Pregnancy:
1. Pregnancy limbo is bullsh*t
Pregnancy limbo is that piece of crap time every month between when you ovulate and when you get your period. Am I vaguely pregnant? Can I have a drink? Should I give up soft eggs just in case? I did a test, but it was negative could I still be pregnant. I definitely feel pregnant but am I imagining things?
2. Even if you're trying for a baby, that BFP (big fat positive) can be a bit scary
Don't worry if, as much as you were dying to see that little plus symbol after you do you feel overwhelmed, scared, anxious or all of the above. It's a pretty normal reaction I hear. No matter how longed for or planned the pregnancy is, it can be a shock no matter what.
3. You want to eat right, but the nausea keeps making you want to eat hot dogs and chicken fillet rolls or nothing at all
It's so haaaaaaard.
4. Not telling people is bullsh*t
It's a lonely, lonely time without having someone to whinge to about how if one more person eats an overripe banana in your vicinity then you're going to be sick on them.
5. Sometimes it really hurts
I had hectic cramping for about the first four months of my pregnancy. It literally felt like those period pains when you think your womb is going to erupt. I constantly thought that I was about to miscarry. Thankfully I went on to have a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy and a healthy baby. I'm not saying don't worry about anything. Visit your doctor anytime you have concerns. Don't worry about overreacting about any pregnancy twinge – it's important to react if you think something is wrong, and if everything is okay, it's still important to seek reassurance.
6. Sometimes you are more furious than a rabid wild animal with the scent of blood in its nostrils
The hormones are strong in pregnant women at this point, and it is terribly frustrating as you're not getting any sympathy from anyone just yet because you're not visibly with bump.
7. Sometimes you are really really sad
This is okay too, but if you think you're more than just sad and hormonal go to your doctor.See also
4 reasons we shouldn't keep mum about prenatal depression.
8. A lot of the time you are f*cking terrified
This was something I had completely forgotten about being pregnant until my friend, looking so vulnerable, asked me if it was normal. We often think of pregnancy as this cozy, loved up state of bliss and eating but even if you have a healthy pregnancy, it is still time of major uncertainty, so don't feel like you have to keep it bottled up.
