Infertility struggles affect so many, and yet the stories of the heartache this causes couples are often far too private for anyone to want to share with the world.
For three years, Ohio-natives Dan and his wife Leah tried to get pregnant. And for three years, the couple, who are in their late 30s, found themselves caught in a seemingly endless cycle of struggle and perseverance.
Eventually, Dan took to Facebook to pen an open letter describing the journey towards pregnancy — through hope and heartache. Dan’s message is so brutally honest, so raw and real that the post quickly went viral.
“Do you have a minute? I’ve got kind of a long story,” Dan begins.
Trust me; you'll want to read this.
(Image via Dan Majesky/FB)
“Do you have a minute? I’ve got kind of a long story.
Leah and I have been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years. I’m not sure when, exactly, we stopped the birth control. Like all our plans, we didn’t start with a plan, but instead decided that if we got pregnant, that would be great.
And then we didn’t get pregnant.
I mean, look, when you’re in your twenties, it feels like you can’t look at someone else without getting pregnant. We’ve all heard about someone who got pregnant through 2 condoms, spermicidal lubricant, and an IUD. Right? But we didn’t get pregnant. No big deal.
We’re in our 30s. Things are probably a little bit dusty, and a little bit rusty. So, three years ago, we started using apps and calendars to track this and that. Ovulation test sticks. Old wives’ tales of positions and timing. We got some late periods. And some periods that never came!
But we didn’t get pregnant.”
So, off to the doctor we went. His and hers appointments for collections of blood and semen and measuring parts and such. Medical science being what it is, we got the answer to all our problems: ‘You’re fine, and there shouldn’t be a problem.’
Do doctors ever tell anybody, ‘This is what is wrong, and this is how to fix it,’ and then give them pills, and they’re fine? This is not my experience. My experience is: ¯_(ツ)_/¯
We didn’t get pregnant.
So then came the hormones for Leah. Along with those hormones came the realization that little-to-none of this would be covered by insurance, and that the coverage rate would go down as we went deeper into the process. See, insurance companies look at getting pregnant a lot like getting sick. Why, they can’t imagine, would you try to get sick? Well, f**k you, insurance companies. That’s why.
But we didn’t get pregnant.
So maybe we’re bad at timing, or something, or god knows. Usually that’s fine, but we are in our late 30s, and clocks are ticking. The doctor told us that certain hormone levels were low, lower than they should have been, and that meant our egg supply was dwindling.”