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01st Sep 2023

‘My two-year-old bit my friend’s daughter – now she won’t have anything to do to me’

Sophie Collins

Kids playing

A mum says her friend will no longer have anything to do with her after their kids had a falling out on a play date.

According to the woman, who wrote on Reddit asking for advice, her nearly two-year-old bit her friend’s daughter.

Neither parent witnessed the incident occur, they just heard the cries after and saw a bite mark.

Explaining what happened, the mum wrote: “My almost 2 year old bit her friend at a play date and now the mom said we’re not a good fit.

“We didn’t see it happen but we heard the kid cry. The mom friend made sure the other kid was ok, the bite left a mark for maybe 5 minutes so it wasn’t bad at all.

“I told my kid ‘no biting’, put the toy away, had her sit next to me for 2 minutes, and I didn’t have her say sorry (she physically can’t say it so I didn’t even think about it).”

The mum of the bitten child, however, thought this was not enough of a punishment for the little girl.

“Apparently that wasn’t reacting enough. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to maintain a friendship because of the biting.

“Do I just give up until she is out of this phase? Until she can talk and ask for toys? Until she can say sorry so it appears as if she is remorseful for her actions?

“She usually runs away once she bites someone and they start crying so she knows she isn’t suppose to bite.

“Talking to her doesn’t work and timeout gives her enough time to forget about the toy which is why it’s been effective.

“It is developmentally appropriate to bite and it’s not encouraged or allowed in anyway at home but I don’t know what reaction my mom friend wanted from me. I was holding my 4 month old too so it limited my ability to do much else.”

Lots of parents having been offering up their advice on the tricky situation, but most seem to side with the mum who has cut her friend off.

One mum wrote: “If you got a biter, you need to be more hands on durinh play dates until she’s grown out of it.

“And always give attention to the hurt party first so that they learn bad behaviour doesn’t get attention, it just leads you to worry about the hurt person.”

Another responded saying: “Your child might not be able to apologize, but YOU can. I’d have probably done the same thing as this mom. Kids will be kids, but your reaction and your comment about it “not being that bad” indicates that you’re not concerned about stopping the behavior and it’s likely to happen again.”

A third person added: “I’ll be honest- if another child bit mine and the mom didn’t apologize profusely, and reacted massively in the moment, I wouldn’t be interacting with that mother or family either.

“I’m not putting my child in a position where she’s getting injured/bitten- that’s not fair to my child. For you to even say well ‘the bite only left a mark for 5 mins so it wasn’t bad at all’ seems incredibly dismissive to me and I can sense you don’t particularly think that another child getting bitten by yours is a big deal. I wouldn’t hang out with you either.”

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