Mum baffled as her best friend keeps her bridesmaids a secret 4 years ago

Mum baffled as her best friend keeps her bridesmaids a secret

We do find this utterly bizarre.

If you have been friends with someone for 16 years, and they were a bridesmaid at your wedding, you would hope that they would keep you involved in their wedding details.

Sure, they don't have to ask you to be a part of their bridal party - but to keep it a secret from you is very strange.

That's what happened to this mum. She took to Mumsnet to vent about the situation, saying that she thinks she needs to rethink the friendship.

She wrote:

"Last year I got married and made the easy choice of having my 4 best friends as my bridesmaids. One of which I made my maid of honour. I must admit at the time I asked the question I had concern that my friend of 16 years seemed unusually disinterested in my wedding plans but as she was a new mum to be I put it down to the fact that she had a lot going on.

"So fast forward a few months.. she is also newly engaged.. and nearly a year on and there has been no discussion of who her bridal party will be. Until I slowly find out from other people [there is bridesmaids].. as they discuss their dresses."

She went on to say that the other bridesmaids that came out of the woodwork didn't organise anything for the bride's hen do and instead, she and two other friends planned it all.

The woman continued:


-Why didnt our best friend tell us about her bridal party? Why cloak and dagger?
- Does she value the friendship the same as we do?
- In hindsight should we have left the hen party arrangements alone?
- Am I right to feel a little hurt?

There was a lot of back and forth in the comments section, with some agreeing that it was rude of her to keep her bridesmaids a secret, while others said she was thinking too much into it.

One wrote:

"Sounds like she likes less fuss than you and could live without the kind of detail you like. Was it a surprise party for her hen do? If not and you consulted her then I think that is fine. I think adult women getting upset about being bridesmaids is a bit odd personally."

While another commented:

"I'm sorry but at the point at which you offered to arrange the hen do she should have told you. Even if it was to say please could you still do it. But then she should explain why she asked the other girls/ladies. I would feel hurt."