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30th Sep 2023

First-time mum sparks debate over ‘controversial’ parenting rules for daughter

Jody Coffey

A mum always knows what’s best for her own child.

Parenting, as we know, is not linear and sometimes you just have to follow your instincts when it comes to protecting your child’s innocence and safety.

One mum, who took to social media to share her own set of parenting rules, has started quite the debate for sharing what some have deemed as ‘controversial’ parenting techniques.

Aubriana, @organicmami on TikTok, took to the platform to talk about her non-negotiable and ‘controversial’ parenting rules, starting with no sleepovers.

“Nope, not even with family members. She will never be left alone with a male. I don’t care if you’re the grandpa, uncle, the cousin,” Aubriana says, going on to explain that she would implement this same rule for her son.

“For instance, I let my son go out late, but not my daughter, because it’s too dangerous for a woman. I’m just going to treat them both the same.”

Keeping secrets are another no-no in the first-time mum’s parenting toolkit, saying that she doesn’t want anything to be kept from her.

“If you’re one of those people now saying, ‘I’ll give you candy when your mom’s not here, just don’t tell her,’ that’s the quickest way to never see us again,” Aubriana states.

@theorganicmami Controversial ways I’m raising my daughter ✨ call me crazy IDC ? #controversialmom #controversialwaysimgoingtoraisemykids #raisingmydaughter #controversialmomtopics #controversialopinion #raisingstrongwomen #crunchymom #chattygrwm #sahmgrwmroutine #youngfirsttimemom ♬ Storytelling – Adriel

Teaching her daughter to have boundaries is also extremely important to her, and says she will have no issues if her daughter doesn’t respect another family member if she feels its mutual.

“She doesn’t have to kiss you, hug you, sit on your lap, or anything else just because you asked her to and because you’re a relative and haven’t seen her in a long time.

“She doesn’t have to respect you if you don’t also respect her. As a child, she still will have opinions and emotions, and she’s allowed to feel a certain way,” the TikTok mum continues.

Aubriana reveals her next rule as ‘mental health days when needed’ as she hopes this will encourage her daughter to ‘express herself and learn to regulate her emotions.’

The first-time mum will avoid the public school system that ‘makes you sit at a desk for eight hours and not learn anything you really care about,’ but did not make mention of what educational system she will opt for.

Aubriana has also made the decision to use ‘holistic methods’ before resorting to ‘western medicine’ if her daughter should ever require healthcare.

Teaching her daughter to stand up for herself, not forcing her to share if she doesn’t want to, and not making her to finish a plate of food if she says she is full all also make the list of Aubriana’s parenting rules, as well as not speaking poorly about herself or commenting on her daughter’s appearance or body.

“I’m teaching her she can always come to me and never has to hide anything. As a mom, I know I’m not always right and I make mistakes and I’ll own up to it and apologise. Nothing will ever be just because I said so and I’ll have legitimate reasons,” she explains.

Travel is another area where Aubriana has decided is important for her baby, despite the hardship it can involve.

“It’s worth it making memories and experiences with our family.”

Concluding her parenting rules, she reveals that the family have ‘already started sating daily affirmations together’.

While many users applauded the parenting rules and their reasonings, some thought they were a bit extreme, with close to 3,000 comments below the video.

Many of them directed at the no-sleepover rule set by Aubriana.

“We get sleepovers make childhood memories or kids will hate you for not letting them but they will thank you later. So many unfortunate stuff happen,” another agreed.

“she won’t ever be allowed to have sleepovers with her friends? no judgement. just those were some of my best childhood memories,” one questioned.

“I used to get so mad at my mom for not letting me go to sleepovers. But now that I’m a mom, I understand,” another confessed.

While another wrote: “The sleepover thing drives me nuts because I still don’t know how I feel about it I go back n forth with myself about wether I’m ok with it or not.”

What are your thoughts? I love and seriously respect the conscious rule Aubriana has made about not speaking poorly about her body in front of her daughter!