As a mum of an almost-12-year old girl, we often have little friends on sleepovers.
There are movies and treats and giggles, and, most often, not so much sleep.
But while there are times when I have to go into her room at late o’clock in the morning to remind them that some sleep would be good (and that myself and little brother really would like some), I still would never deny my children the fun of having their friends around for sleepovers. It is, as far as I am concerned, part of the thing childhood memories are made from.
However, not everyone feels this way.
American mum Tara Huck recently went viral after she shared a video on her Instagram and TikTok profiles revealing that she never allows her children to attend sleepovers at friends’ houses.
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“I had seen a couple videos of people talking about unpopular opinions they had about different things,” Huck told TODAY Parents.
“It was a trend, and this is something that I feel very strongly about.”
In the video, captioned “this should be fun,” the mum-of-two is sitting in her car; the words “unpopular parenting opinions” are on the screen. Her unpopular parenting moves follow: “As long as school and chores are done, I don’t limit screen time” and “if they don’t eat what I make, they don’t eat.”
But it was Huck’s “no sleepovers” rule that struck a nerve with other parents, and ended up sparking an online debate.
Her reason?
Huck said the responsibility of protecting her children is why she doesn’t allow them — for now — to host or attend sleepovers.
“I feel like kids are most vulnerable when they’re sleeping,” she explained.
“I’m just trying to eliminate one very small factor that could potentially harm them. If they could come out of their childhood without having had a very traumatic experience, whatever that experience could be, well, that’s all I’m trying to do.”
Are sleepovers really potentially unsafe?
My daughter has had sleepovers both at home here, and in friends’ houses. However, I am close friends with most of her friends’ parents, and has never once felt like I was putting her in harm’s way by letting her sleepover at a friend’s house.
Speaking to Today Parents, Dr Sarah Dougles, a pediatric neuropsychologist, explains that if you as a parent is feeling nervous about sleepovers, it might be best for parents to focus on harm-reduction and prevention rather than nixing sleepovers entirely.
“What makes a sleepover appropriate for a child is less about an age number and more about the individual child,” Douglas pointed out.
“Parents should ask themselves some questions about their child. Can the child be flexible enough to follow someone else’s rules in a new environment? From an emotional perspective, can the child be in a new place and feel comfortable? And I might be stating the obvious, but does the child even want to go?”
Douglas said it’s also important that parents feel comfortable asking other parents questions, whether about contingency plans should a child want to go home early, or who else will be in the home at the time of the sleepover.
“There aren’t any wrong questions,” she added,” and there shouldn’t be any limitations on what a parent feels comfortable asking another parent.”
Where do YOU stand on the issue of sleepovers?
