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28th Mar 2024

‘Am I wrong for not wanting my friend to bring her kid to my party?’

Anna Martin


Sometimes friendships change when you both have a kid

Maybe you get to spend less time together, other times you become closer than ever, it really depends.

While some people want to get together with their little ones in tow, others just want a break from the stress of being a parent for a while.

Both are completely valid reactions but what would you do if you want a night off but your bestie wants to bring their kid?

That’s what one Redditor is trying to figure out how to navigate the situation with her own friend.

Explaining the situation she wrote: “One of my friends put together a get-together at a restaurant for my birthday. The place has a bar where we’re going to be hanging out. The plan was to get a bit tipsy and order appetisers.”

Credit: Getty

While the woman herself is a mother, both she and her husband decided to arrange a babysitter so they could let their hair down.

However, her friend Missy decided that she wanted to bring her 5-year-old to the party, even though the Redditor offered to pay her babysitter to look after her.

Continuing her story, she wrote: “Missy said no because her daughter is in daycare all day and she doesn’t want her to have to then be with a sitter.

“I said I understand but I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to come. One, I know our group. We’re going to get rowdy and I don’t want to censor myself.

“Two, Missy’s daughter is like a lot of 5-year-olds: she doesn’t sit still, wants to run over the place. Missy admits she doesn’t bring her out to restaurants much because she doesn’t know how to act.”

The poster wasn’t the only one not happy about the situation as she added: “I spoke to my friend who put it together and said I don’t want any kids there. There’s a reason I got a sitter for my own kid. That friend agreed and told Missy not to bring her daughter.

“Missy has now thrown a fit and said she’s not coming. I said I completely understand. There are events I have missed because I don’t want to leave my daughter and the group understands as we all have kids.”

Credit: Canva

Now the woman is wondering if she was wrong for putting her foot down and it seems that everyone is on her side.

“You offered reasonable solutions and she refused. When a person chooses a lifestyle, they have to deal with whatever comes with it. But they aren’t entitled to special treatment, especially when people of a similar lifestyle have adapted,” penned one.

Another commented: “This is an adult gathering and you offered a generous solution in paying your babysitter extra to watch both kids. You are not excluding Missy, Missy is excluding herself.”

A third agreed writing: “You’re being a responsible person and a good friend… there’s really nothing more anyone could do in this situation.”