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16th Feb 2024

Mum claims it is ‘morally dire’ if grandparents don’t mind their grandchildren


A mum has caused quite a heated debate after claiming it is ‘morally dire’ if grandparents don’t help mind their grandchildren.

Grandparents who are willing to help you look after your little ones are great, but it isn’t a luxury everyone can enjoy. Some of our parents work, others may be too ill to look after kids, and some simply don’t want to.

However, one mum has publicly slated her parents for only spending time with their grandchildren “on their terms”.

The mum explained that she has no childcare issues apart from the “horrendous cost” but still believes her parents should offer to mind her children often.

She said they won’t give her reliable childcare and said that in her opinion they should offer to step up regularly.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this and on balance I think it’s pretty morally dire. Luckily I can afford childcare and nursery but I perhaps would feel more strongly if I couldn’t.

“However, whilst it’s easy for me to say this now, I do think I would step up and do some childcare for my child if they had children.

“I can’t imagine just letting the days roll by leisurely and not setting aside even one day a week to be a reliable help.

“I know in other cultures this is standard and families pull together much more. Am I being unreasonable to think there is actually a moral obligation here, to make some form of childcare contribution, however small?”

Mumsnet users agreed that the woman’s parents are not obliged to mind her children.

One said: “No I don’t think they are obligated, it’s a bonus if they do. They have done their child-raising and didn’t force you to have children, that was your choice.”

“There’s no obligation, don’t be so ridiculous. If they wanted to restrict their lives with regular childcare they would,” another said.