People were furious.
A mum who is struggling to pay her bills has turned to the internet for advice over the reaction her boyfriend of a decade – and the father of her child – had when she asked him for help.
She explained that both she and her long-term partner have their own places: he owns a home, with the mortgage fully paid; she rents privately.
However, she says that he rarely uses his own home – instead living with her and their child.
She explained in the Mumsnet post:
“He never put anything towards my rent when he’s lived with me but he would throw a tenner here and there on gas and electric and put towards the shopping now and then.”
She said that she had been “really struggling with my bills” lately while she was working part time, and turned to her partner for assistance.
She wrote:
“I asked him if me and our child could move into his property temporarily, so I can leave my home and work as much over time as possible for 8-12 weeks to save up a rent and deposit on a cheaper property.
“The very first thing he said was: ‘Well you can’t live in there for free you know.’
“Now don’t get me wrong, I would make sure there’s always gas and light in there and I’d always fill the fridge and cupboards – but the fact he wants actual money off us, I’m actually in shock considering all the years he’s lived with me rent free.
“Bare in mind also that his mortgage is fully paid off and all he has to pay is council tax which still I would be happy to contribute to but I fell like he’s sort of demanded it.
“I also feel like he’s not even bothered that I’m struggling.
“I tell him all the time and still he does nothing about it.
“What can I do guys? I really feel like this is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back I really do feel like I’m in shock I just can’t believe it.”
Mums on the website were quick to sue to defend her, with many of them “baffled” by her partner’s behaviour.
One person said they would be “majorly assessing the relationship”, adding:
“That is so rude and cheap! 10 years, a child together, and he can’t put himself out to support you at all?
“I would be majorly re-assessing this relationship.”
Someone else pointed out:
“He is not your partner: partners have a partnership where they share duties, obligations, and expenses between them.
“They also respect each other by participating fully in that partnership and pulling their respective weights, however they can.
“I could not be with a man who had such little esteem or respect for me, or perhaps more importantly for our child, that he would treat us in such a fashion.”
Another person wrote:
“I’m struggling to understand this to be honest.
“It sounds as though he has not been paying anything towards child support for 4 years? That can’t be right?
“How does he cover his share of the 4 year old’s costs which would include the roof over their head, electricity needed for them, food they eat, clothes, entertainment etc?
“I’m just confused.”
