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20th Feb 2019

10 ways pregnancy is just like a nine-month hangover

We're officially over it.


This list is pretty good proof that pregnant people and hungover people actually make the best companions.

You’re likely to be on a similar wavelength at least for the duration of the hangover. Sadly pregnancy is a slightly more prolonged state, and once the hangover sufferer has sufficiently recovered Preggo may have to find another hungover or pregnant person to buddy up with…

10 ways being pregnant is exactly like being hungover for nine months:

1. The absolute INSANE exhaustion

The hungover person thinks they’re tired but nobody is tired like the pregnant woman is tired (except maybe the new mother, we’ll give her that – the new mother is pretty freakin’ tired). When you’re hungover the kettle feels like it’s ten miles away, however, being pregnant is like trudging around wearing a medieval suit of armour all day. Every day.

2. The relentless nausea

Swallowing spew eight times a day is par for the course for both the very hungover and the very pregnant. However being chronically nauseous after a deadly night out is considerably easier to accept than being chronically nauseous on a daily basis when absolutely no craic has been had that would justify feeling this shit.

3. The cravings (when food is all we can think about…)

Hungover people and pregnant people have a lot of overlap in their nutritional needs. Anything carb-based and loaded with melted cheese is going to assuage the urges of the very deeply hungover and the super, super pregnant.

4. The aversions (when just the thought of food…)

Oh no, this is when the hangover/foetus has REAAAAAALLY turned on us and if someone even just SAYS the word salami we’re gonna be sick. For this style of hangover/pregnancy, there’s no known cure except time. At some point, your body may try to trick you into thinking that eating a bowl of mashed potato might be a good thing, but DON’T be fooled. You will regret it.

5. The need to hide from the world

Hiding from the world is one of the perks of pregnancy and hangovers.

6. The need for crisp sandwiches

You might like to think that you’re above crisp sandwiches… until a hangover or pregnancy strikes you. Then all bets are off. Bring on the crisp sandwiches.

7. The general state of us

Greasy hair – check. Spotty chin – check. Vaguely clammy and sweaty – check. You’re either in the throes of hangover or the early erratic hormonal stage of human gestation.

8. The leggings/ joggers uniform

The hungover and the pregnant do not enjoy traditional waistbands, though for very different reasons.

9. The need for lying down

It’s pretty reasonable given everything that we are enduring that we really, REALLY need to lie down pretty much all the time.

10. The interminable moaning

Moaning when very pregnant or deeply hungover is verging on medicinal, there’s just something about it that makes one feel marginally better. So whether it’s six vodka tonics and taco chips or an adorable little foetus swishing around inside you, get your moan on.