New parents often feel lost and overwhelmed by the enormous responsibility and endless list of questions that remain unanswered once they return home with their new baby.
‘How often should my baby feed? How do I bath my baby? Is it okay to bring my baby out for a walk or will he be too cold? Help!’
This is where a postpartum doula comes in, on a mission to instill confidence in new parents, one family at a time. During pregnancy we often find ourselves in information overload. There are so many different styles of parenting; we are flooded with conflicting advice. Each ‘expert’ has a different theory on sleep, infant feeding and the ‘dos and don’ts’ of parenting. What doulas want parents to understand is that they are the experts on their individual and unique little baby.
When a postpartum doula works with families, one of the first things they will tell them is to install a huge filter in their brain to handle the barrage of advice from well meaning people. They need to learn to take the bits that ring true to their family and ditch the rest.
Let your heart or gut instinct take over. Do what feels right for you and your family, at this moment in time.
Working with a postpartum doula gives new parents access to knowledge on a vast array of subjects, from self-care and baby care to family adjustment, reliable resources for different therapies or appropriate health care professionals. This allows each family to explain exactly what they are looking for, and then sit back and filter the information given to them by their doula. Parents can say ‘that’s not for us’ and move onto the next thing without wasting valuable sleep time doing Google searches at 3am.
A postpartum doula “mothers the mother” and works closely with the whole family. They pass on all the parenting ‘hacks’ that have been passed down for generations.
Somewhere along the way, Irish people lost our village of support. Many of our own mothers or aunties did not breastfeed or they were taught to have their baby on a strict routine and cry it out if they wouldn’t stick to it. We now know these are not the best choices for developmental, emotional and physical growth, but the knowledge has been lost along the way and new parents often feel overwhelmed and abandoned.
New parents need this support, to flourish in their new role. A doula will not only offer parents compassion, advice and support, she will also encourage them to build their own village of supporters.
Parents may see hiring a doula as a luxury, but if this support is not easily accessible to parents from their family or friends, I feel it’s a valuable investment. Many parents spend thousands on the latest gadgets and designer buggies. If they invest a tiny portion of this money on a postpartum doula they will gain more than support. They will feel valued, informed and heard. They can begin their parenting journey with joy and confidence, knowing there is always someone there to listen and help them navigate their way to success!
Jen Crawford is a member of the Doula Association of Ireland and works as a birth and postpartum Doula. This week, we’re celebrating #WorldDoulaWeek.
