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13th Feb 2024

‘Am I wrong for deciding on a baby name without my husband?’

Anna Martin

baby name

Picking a baby name is usually a bit of a family effort

Even people that you don’t necessarily want to get involved in the conversation will give their two cents, throwing suggestions out left, right and centre.

So when a woman decided to pick her baby’s middle name without asking her husband, as you can imagine, things got a little complicated.

Giving more context to the situation, the woman at the centre of it all took to Reddit.

“I and my husband Chris had our daughter about 2 months ago. We have similar tastes in names and we agreed upon Lara for a girl pretty early on,” she began.

“We found out a year ago that my sister Andrea, had been diagnosed with cancer. By the time I got pregnant, she was already very sick. At 24 weeks pregnant, she passed away. We had not decided on a middle name at the time, but my husband wanted to give Lara his mother’s name, Jane, and he was set on it.

baby name
Credit: Getty

“After Andrea passed I wanted Lara’s middle name to be Andrea. He said he hated the name Andrea and it would make more sense to name her after her grandma than an aunt.

“This made me upset and I told him that his mother was alive and well, and I wanted to remember my sister. I brought up giving her two middle names and he didn’t want to do that either.”

Yet when it came time to welcome their little girl into the world, Chris passed out towards the end of the birth so when it came time to name their baby, the Redditor answered, Lara Andrea.

“Once he was conscious again I told him that I put down Lara Andrea. He mumbled ‘Fine.’ I thought he was okay with Lara Andrea now, but now I realise he was trying to be nice because I just gave birth,” she continued.

Things seemed okay for a while until he decided to bring up changing her name last month, to which she brought back up the two middle name idea.

“He got mad at me and we’ve been arguing about this practically every day. He keeps calling her Lara Jane. He STILL doesn’t want to do a double middle name.

“I feel our family and friends are biased because they either knew Andrea or know Jane. I feel like maybe I should’ve done a double middle name or put down Jane, and I’m wondering if I should change it,” she penned.

baby name
Credit: Getty

“I feel like I might be in the wrong here for ignoring his opinion and taking advantage of the fact he was unconscious to choose the name I wanted.”

Though looking for opinions on the situation, the poster was met by a very mixed reaction with some people calling her out and others supporting her.

“Baby names are something that both parents should agree to. There are so many possible names. Keep looking until you find one that both of you are fine with,” commented one.

Someone else agreed with the Redditor writing, “In my opinion, the mother should always get naming rights as she is responsible for 99.9% of the creation of the baby.”

While a third decided both parents were wrong commenting, “Of course, you shouldn’t have put the name you knew he didn’t want on a legal document while he was unconscious. You’re obviously wrong about that.

“But, that being said, your sister dying while you’re 24 weeks pregnant beats living grandma. Every time. Your husband is a hugely selfish AH for not realizing that, and for refusing to compromise in any way.”