Mum-to-be sparks debate after ‘weird’ reaction to finding out gender of unborn child

A man has turned to the internet for advice after his pregnant wife's reaction after they found out the gender of their unborn child.

The dad-to-be explained on Reddit that his wife is 24 weeks pregnant - and had made it "very clear from even before she was pregnant" that she wanted a baby girl.  "She made the odd joke about 'sending it back' if it was a boy," he added. He said that he initially thought she was joking, until they went in for their 20 week scan and found out they were having a boy - and his wife "immediately burst into tears." He continued:

"Fast forward to our 20 week scan. We go in super excited and nervous. I don't mind about the gender, my wife is crying with excitement as she had a feeling it was a girl.

"We go in and find out we are having a boy.

"My wife immediately bursts into tears and I hold her hand knowing that she was disappointed and putting it down to pregnancy hormones. "She doesn't stop crying the whole day. I let her calm down and try and comfort her."

Four weeks on from the scan, the man said that his wife still cries when someone mentions their baby. He said:

"She refuses to do anything to do with the nursery and won't discuss anything pregnancy related. "Family are starting to think it's weird, but she said she doesn't want people to judge her for how she feels."

He wrote that he's starting to get frustrated with his wife "overreacting", and that he told her she need red to "come to terms" with it. He continued:

"I told her she needs to come to terms with this because the gender isn't going to change. She cried and called me an a**hole. I told her she needs to get a grip. I felt awful but I feel like nearly a month of this is ridiculous. "I love the baby beyond words and am just upset she doesn't seem to anymore."

More than 1,200 people have replied to the post, with the overall opinion pretty split on what the dad should do. Some folks felt that the wife's behaviour was "seriously concerning." One person said:

"A parent's job is to love and support their child unconditionally for who they are as a person. When parents obsess over the sex and act out like this when they don't get what they want, that's a terrible sign regarding their expectations as a parent."

Someone else commented:

"That's seriously concerning behavior given how long it's lasting. This is the kind of sh*t you hear about from mentally scarred boys who developed trauma because their mother wanted them to be a girl and therefore hated them."

Many others pointed out that gender disappointment is real - and encouraged the husband to be patient, and take his wife to see her doctor. One parent said:

"Gender disappointment is real and she should look into how to deal with it. I had it too when I found out I was having a boy."

Another commented:

"I had real gender disappointment with my second pregnancy. It’s a real thing, it happens to lots of people and it will most likely go away when the baby is born. "I dreamt about my baby magically being a girl the night before he was born. Poof— he’s born and all those feelings went away. Being pregnant is a weird thing and makes people weird.